This little gem couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time: I’m flying tomorrow. What in-flight announcements would sound like if they were truthful:

We appreciate that you have a choice of airlines and we thank you for choosing Veritas, a member of an incomprehensible alliance of obscure foreign outfits, most of which you have never heard of. Cabin crew, please make sure we have remembered to close the doors. Sorry, I mean: ‘Doors to automatic and cross-check’. Thank you for flying Veritas.”

(via BoingBoing)